Before you dig in, I’ll have you know this:
I wrote this on Saturday, then decided not to post it. Even after encouraging you, too, to embrace imperfection and incompleteness, I suddenly worried that this was too scattered and too…impulsive. How hilarious is that?
But after some just-do-it encouragement from a friend who I knew would be honest with me, here I am. I did it. I clicked post. And now, I’m hoping to pay that same energy forward.
I hope this note, er, long letter inspires you to take some sort of just-do-it / just-say-it / just-write-it / just-paint-it / just-move-it / just-sing-it action on something imperfectly perfect, too.
Hiii. Hi. Hi. Hiiiii. Hi. It’s been a while.
I’mma keep this short and sweet (Bahahaha…said none of my newsletters/posts EVER!) because in exactly 52 minutes, I’ll have the house to myself and a chance to watch the second episode of The Morning Show.
Right now, I’m typing to you from my backyard with my second cup of coffee beside me (Oh, NO, it’s already gone?! How did that happen?!) while David chases my shadow around inside. The fall breeze that’s hitting my cheeks is insanely delicious.
You know what else is yummy? Coming out of a tunnel (I go through a lot of ’em!) with a refreshed ability to notice things again and having the energy to process them. Allowing myself time to sit in a pile of leaves and learning a life lesson in the process. Stumbling upon a picture of dead grass that sparks a hopeful “AHA.”
If I don’t spill just some of the things that’ve been stacking up in my brain this last week, they might start shooting out of my ears. And from all the conversations I’ve been having, I know I’m not the only one who’s been struggling with some stuff on top of all the other stuff we’ve been enduring since March 2020.
So, I feel called to let ya in on what’s been helping me in hopes that it’ll inspire / help / re-energize you, too.
I’m no medical professional, so take this one as you will / talk to your doc before taking anything, but…
Since starting up with Vitamin D3 again, my moods ‘n’ thoughts have improved, my worries have lessened, and my energy has increased.
Now, I also haven’t had any wine for a week. But based on how I’ve historically felt in that first week without nightcaps — foggy, irritable, sluggish — I feel like something Different (See what I did there?) is happening this time.
Let this be a reminder that sometimes the smallest thing can make a huge impact — like drinking more water, taking a 20-minute walk, hiding your phone in the other room, and, and, and.
My change in mindset could also be from…
The Hard Good
This is hands down one of the best books I’ve ever listened to.
Lisa Whittle is meeting me exactly where I am with all of my stuff while sharing her own stuff. Most importantly, she’s giving me new and life-changing perspectives on who God is.
Take a look at the chapter list. Juicyyy stuff right here.
Since listening, I’ve experienced an unexpected yet welcomed side effect: My relationship with social media has profoundly changed.
I had no idea how much jealousy, comparison, and not-enough-ness I was feeling whilst spending time on Facebook and Instagram. I always blamed the apps for my emotional exhaustion. Now, I’m realizing that I just needed to change my head and heart around it. Thank you, Chapter 2.
That Dead Grass I Keep Talking About
As I was scrolling through my phone the other night, I came across this ditty I snapped in my neighbor’s backyard:
A few months ago, I was asking her what was up with all the sudden dead patches in her lawn while she was tending to all the garlic she had just picked.
“Oh, John used the wrong spray,” she said, like she was telling me what time it was. I mean, her lawn looked like it had broken out in hives, yet she wasn’t irked. Either she is immune to John making mistakes all over that backyard or she’s so distracted by her monstrous vegetable garden that she just doesn’t care about the grass. 😉
Here’s my point:
John probably set out to kill some pesky plants with a bottle of what he thought was Weed B Gon, but unbeknownst to him, he grabbed the Grass B Gon. But thanks to his mistake, that heart-shaped, accidental art brings me a burst of joy every time I see it.
And weeks later, its impact keeps growing, as I’m reminded of this:
Things sure have a funny way of working out…sometimes even better than you planned.
And here’s the even cooler thing:
Just as poor John had no idea he’d grabbed the wrong spray, he also has no idea about the mark his “mistake” has left on his neighbor. Which makes me realize even more stuff:
I guarantee there are many things you have done to help / inspire someone, but you will never know the true impact. You’ve just got to trust it.
Whether it’s intentional, accidental, monumental, or ever-so-mundane, please trust that whatever you’re bringing to the table in your world is worthy and meaningful. Even simply remembering someone’s name / thanking that person who bagged your groceries / holding the door for the slow-moving lady with the cane could be doing wildly more than you could ever dream of.
You don’t need a big ‘ol following, shiny career title, or lots of power to make a “true” impact. You also don’t need an overflow of Thank You Notes — or heck even one “Thank You” or one “Great Job” to know and trust that you have helped / impacted / succeeded / contributed.
You are doing more than you even think.
You are bringing more than you even know.
How am I so confident in this? Because if a patch of dead grass can do what it did for me, can you imagine what else is rippling out there? My mind is exploding over all the things that are happening that we cannot see or will never know about.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Now, on to the next thing that recently blew me away.
Last week, I had about 30 minutes to kill before it was time to pick up Tiny Tornado from preschool. So, I went to the place that tickles all of my senses with inspiration:
Barnes & Noble.
Very rarely will I properly sit in a chair anywhere in that place. Instead, I’ll cozy up cross-legged next to a wall of books and sit on that floor till I find something that moves me or, well, my feet fall asleep.
On that day, I plopped down in front of rows of planners and was immediately drawn to this lovely one that even had a title: All Along You Were Blooming.
With the start of every new week, it includes beautiful art with overlaid words by Morgan Harper Nichols. Want a visual? Below is the one from last week. (Obviously, I bought it.)
Her art wasn’t the only motivator to purchase it, though.
The first thing I saw when I opened it was this:
A mistake! A mistake! This completed, printed, published, oh-so-gorgeous piece of work in my hands contained a big, blatant, beautiful, freeing flaw. In my regular and always unsuccessful pursuits for flawlessness, I often forget that we are all human and perfection just isn’t possible.
Even if something hits the shelves with no mistakes, it will undoubtedly not cater to everyone. Or someone might return it. Or they won’t get out of it what they thought they would. But it will absolutely positively land with those its meant to, just like it did with me — not even from the art…but from the MISTAKE!
So, my fellow Pursuer of Perfection (or shall I say Person in Hiding Who Has Paused Doing Anything Because You Think It’s Not Good Enough Yet)…let this allow you to exhale and love everything you are made for and everything you (and only you!) are here to make.
Welp, I haven’t even begun to talk about the piano or those life lessons from leaf patterns yet, but now it’s well past lunchtime, and I haven’t even watched my show.
In light of everything I just wrote about, I’m going to post this “incomplete” blog the way it is and trust that it’s enough. I’ll share a Part 2 sometime soon. Take that, Perfection!
I hope you are inspired to rebel as well.
…stop what you’re doing and do something for you, too.
…not worry about your house being spotless for those guests tonight.
…decide not to delete that social media post after all. Trust that it’s there for who needs it, whether people are interacting or not.
…play that song for someone even though it’s not perfect yet.
…go on that date even though you haven’t lost the weight / healed / [insert your thing].
Get my drift, Rebel?
Until the Sequel,