It seems Hamburg is one of Germany’s best-kept secrets. I’d never heard of this place till moving to Deutschland, but when I do hear of it, it’s accompanied with “Go when it’s warm.” The water. The Elbe. The city-crawling canals. The outdoor eateries. The “beach.” The harbor. The Alster lake. The restaurants on the harbor.

When I saw the forecast for our time there, well, let’s just say it rained on my solo-exploring parade. All 4.5 days of it. I was bummed, but still excited to experience a new city. While my other half worked, my plan was to plop down in cafes and write, write, write and start the book that’s been inside me.

WELL…

Turns out I STARTED it on the train!

Immediately after I finished reading Paris Letters, I busted out my laptop and just started typing.

What sparked it? First off, this book is about “one woman’s journey from the fast lane to a slow stroll in Paris.” (Diana. Where would I be if you hadn’t brought this sweet book to my attention?)

Janice MacLeod completely simplifies her life, saves up loads of cash, quits her ad agency job in the States, travels to Europe, falls in love with a Polish butcher and taps into her untapped passion for art. She builds a business out of mailing personalized, painted letters to thousands of subscribers around the world. She marries the butcher, stays in Paris and revels in her new, slow life. True story, folks.

I resonated with so much of what Janice discovers in her European life, and I’d be crazy to say living abroad hasn’t been a catalyst for huge lifestyle shifts. But here’s my theory: You don’t have to escape your life or physically leave what you know to find your truest self…to discover what truly matters most. You simply have to leave the way of thinking that you know. 

TONS more on where THAT comes from…in the book.

So, what made writing a book finally feel so practical?

I know what you’re thinking: “FINALLY. She’s found the proper outlet for her ridiculously prolific emails, texts, blogs and FB statuses.”

NOPE.

Believe it or not, it was the prolific end product that was holding me back. Oh, and a little thing called perfectionism.

Immediately after I finished Janice’s book, I flipped back to the list of chapters. Five pages here, eight pages there…

That’s when it clicked.

As soon as I saw writing a book as writing editable, out-of-order chapters one free-flow sentence at a time and NOT a monstrous stack of pre-planned, I-know-exactly-which-direction-I’m-taking-this perfection, I was ready to begin.

When I DID crack that door open? Wow. Things started clicking. The chapter outline started coming. The why-would-anyone-read-and-benefit-from-my-story thoughts began to fizzle.

>>> I’ve finally realized that sharing your own story is not a selfish thing. I’ve finally realized that through reading others’ experiences, we do two things: 1) We take what resonates with us, or better yet, 2) We open our eyes to new perspectives.

In short (Gahahaha…really?), I’m proud to report that this longtime dream is now a work in progress! I just had to START!

Back to Hamburg.

I was expecting a buttoned up, quaint German city with measly tourists, but this place felt like Amsterdam and London had a brilliant little love child…a well-behaved German one, of course.

We were in the thick of the city, and we weren’t there nearly long enough to get to know it all too well, but first impressions were strong to quite strong. It’s a perfect mix of nature + city, media + maritime, traditions + trends and young + old. It is over 800 years old. It’s had time to roll with the changes + WWII punches while keeping its historic charm alive.

I’m obsessed with the NYT’s 36-hour routine in many a city. Here’s their take on Hamburg.

We plan to return when David’s not working and especially when we’re both not sick!

That brings me to Monday. I’m pretty sure traipsing around in the rain the entire day was the catalyst for the cold I caught. But, hey! It was worth every single soggy second…every last drop. Why? Here goes…

After free-hotel-breakfasting with D, he was off to conduct another Deloitte training for managers and partners (Ugh. I’m SO proud of that guy.), and I was off to explore with me, myself and I. But first…as any annoying, proud wife would do and any modest husband would cringe over, I must share a visual of Deloitte Hamburg:

And a visual of the sweet architecture across the street:

And a visual of the sweet street nearby:

The last time I tagged along on D’s work trip was actually this time a year ago. We were in Stuttgart, we’d just gotten our first taste of what life in Dusseldorf would be like (I was in love, thank gawd!), and lo and behold, it was raining, raining, raining. I spent lots of time in and around the hotel that week.

This time around, nothing would stop me! I was SO inspired by this city (Yes, the trek from the train to the hotel was reeeally good foreplay.), and gosh, what a difference a big ‘ol sturdy umbrella makes…even if it has huge MARRIOTT letters on it.

Here’s a visual sliver of what the city has to offer. I can’t get enough of the vintage brick + water, water, water!

A dear friend told me to check out Schones Leben (Thanks, Emi!), and I’m so happy she did.

Any restaurant called “Beautiful Life” is sure to steal your heart, right? Aaand there’s nothing like walking into an adorable restaurant and realizing you have it ALL to yourself. Not sure that’s ever happened before. Normally, I’d be concerned, but judging by the charm, the fancy menu and my early arrival (Pretty sure it was 11! Ha!), I knew I was in good hands.

The wait staff was so welcoming. They told me I could sit, well, anywhere, but I was immediately distracted by the little knick-knacks and adorbs décor items. They were so cleverly placed, it took me a while to realize most were for sale. (Genius concept, right? Restaurants, take note!)

Then, like a little fish lured to a bright light, I was pulled to a bowl of red hearts. I just had to call this one my own…

Stillness + LOVE. Pretty much two things I’ve learned to live by these past 10 months, and two things I never want to lose sight of.

I snatched up this tangible reminder along with a few gorgeous postcards and nestled into the perfect people-watching-from-the-window seat. My spi-dar (Ahem, spider radar!) alerted me to a few friends in the window. (Spiders. They’re all UP in the Hamburg windows. Ancient webs eeeverywhere. As long as they stay on the other side like the CAGED BEASTS THEY SHOULD BE, I have no problem with them. In fact, I enjoy spotting them clever mathematicians.)

Back to the romance. Candles were lit. The music was perfect. Beatles* songs were being sung by people like Karen Carpenter (Oh, how I channeled you, mama!), classic love songs were filling my cup and even NSYNC’s “I Drive Myself Crazy” was sprinkled in. Every. single. song. tugged on some fond memory or familiar feeling.

*Ready for three fun Beatles facts I bet you didn’t know? Here we go:

1. Where did The Beatles perform their first concert? Hamburg.
2. Where did they record their first song? Hamburg.
3. Where did they hone their performance skills from 1960-1962? Hamburg.

Don’t believe me? Read on.

Back to lunch. My plan was to write, but I was too swept off my feet by this romantic lunch for one and only one. I just wanted to spend time with myself…and just be. And when my creamy mushroom potato puree arrived, it was too dreamy for distractions.

This moment was very telling of how far I’ve come. Joyfully noshing solo and intently desiring no device, journal, book, etc. on the side? That was not me a year ago. Eating slowly and mindfully taking in each bite with gratitude? Definitely not me a year ago.

My entire experience with food has changed. I mean, I actually enjoy grocery shopping (80 percent of the time) and cooking (90 percent of the time). It’s become a mindful, grateful experience and no longer a chore (80 percent of the time).

I’ve been asking myself how and why this all shifted. The answer to that question? It’s an already-started chapter in the book.

Anyway. I loved Schones Leben so much I shamelessly brought David back for dinner. This time, we didn’t have our pick of any seat in the house. There were PEOPLE! BUT…we were coincidentally (I think not!) seated at the same table I lunched at. It was delightful. My fish. His shrimp pasta. Ugh. SO good. I look forward to returning again.

Now for my next favorite memory from that Monday? The Fleetschlösschen!

As soon as I saw this “little castle on the canal,” I HAD to see what it was all about. Here’s what it looked like inside:

This “little castle” has seen a lot since 1885. First, it was a small church. Then, it was used as a registration point for imported goods. (All those brick buildings you see along the canals? They were used as stocking warehouses for the imported goods.) And now, since 2004, it’s the adorbs little bar/cafe you see today.

Meet the bartenders. (Are they old enough to be tending a bar, or am I just that old?)

I loved talking with these ladies. Well, the short-haired gal smiled the whole time because she didn’t speak English. The blonde gal chatted me up, though.

Naturally, I was the only patron again. I asked them, “Where IS everyone?”

“Ohh…it’s Monday. The weather is bad. People’s vacations are over. And it’s early.”

I mean, it was around 13:00. (Yeah, what’s up, military time? Acclimation, people. Acclimation.) So, I ordered a cappuccino and nestled into another window seat. (Not visible but totally there: more spider webs!)

I was window’d out. Why stare out of more glass when I actually had humans to chat with? So, I turned around and started asking the girls about the history of this place.

Blondie told me it’s stood since the 1700s, but the website said 1885. Hmm. Either way, it’s still ancient. and awesome. and probably full of unwritten stories.

“Do you have recommendations of things to explore and places to write?” I asked. “Every local café I’ve poked my head into shows no sign of people on laptops.”

For laptop writing, she recommended Starbucks or Balzac Coffee. (Fun fact: Balzac Coffee was started in Hamburg by a woman!) Also. Every single Starbucks I saw was tucked into an insanely cool building. It’s impossible to escape grand architecture in this city. If you land on ONE SB, I highly recommend THIS one:

Here’s the addy, yo:
Neuer Jungfernstieg 5
20354 Hamburg, Deutschland

Here’s what the inside looked like:

Yeah. I definitely didn’t take that picture. But Wolfang Meinhart did.

Go upstairs, melt into one of the many wide armchairs by one of the many windows and enjoy the view of the Alster lake.

If a sweet girl from Bulgaria by the name of Gena is sitting across from you reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, ask her how the book is. Tell her your newfound thoughts on living in the present and “leaving what you know.” She’ll put her book down and tell you her thoughts, too. Tell her Brit said hi.

Enough about what happened on Tuesday. This blog is about Monday! Back to the exploring.

On my way out of the Fleetschlösschen, blondie (I really wish I remembered her name!) pointed me to the harbor. She said even in the rain, it’s worth a look-see!

She. was. right. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, the harbor keeps going…and going…and going. Get a load of these snaps:

Then, there she was. Just in time. The BLOCKBRAU. Mama needed a BEER. (I know. I like BEER, now.)

<< Queue cheesy German music >>

I’m really starting to fall in love with local German breweries. There’s a familiar feeling when you step into any brauhaus, but with each new city comes a new brew.

Just when it feels like you’re traipsing through a quiet scene of “The Walking Dead” (It started to get a bit eerie!), all you have to do is open the door to a brauhaus, and THAT’s where you’ll find all the LIFE. And a Monday afternoon, there’s loads of, well, retired life…

My goal was to find a safe, solo seat at a bar, but as I wandered around, I quickly realized there was no such thing. Only tables. Tables filled with at LEAST two or three peeps at each. No solo-goers. Just as I was about to dip out, I was caught. “Table for one?” a server asked?

“Ummm…”

“By the window?”

“Ummm….” The seat he was pointing to was right by three elder folks. Oh, what the hell. “Sure!”

I squeezed my way over to yet another window seat (No spiders this time!), hesitantly laid my umbrella by their soggy three and was quickly welcomed into their family. I was at another table, yes, but the nice old man to my left and the two lovely ladies across from him immediately made me feel at home.

My new little boyfriend promptly instructed me to order an Alster (half lemonade, half beer). It was delish. Next up, I tried a Block Brau Hefeweizen with Elderberry syrup. Mmmmm…who knew such a combo could be so yum?

They were visiting for the day to see a play (There’s a big theater scene!) and holy moly, were they getting their afternoon buzz on. It was 14:30. The play didn’t start till 18:00. Well done, old folks. Well done.

My friends didn’t speak English, but thanks to my slowly-but-surely-measly-German, we were getting the job done.

I loved when I asked them if they’d been to America. The man said he once spent a week seeing Vegas and the Grand Canyon but that was 20 years ago…in 1959. Gahahaha! Now that I know my numbers, I know exactly why he said it that way. (In German, instead of saying ninety-five, you say the second number first. You basically say “five and ninety.”)

These three, man. They made my heart smile. They were SO excited to tell me where to explore and kept TRYING to recommend places for me to go, but couldn’t quite get it out auf English. One of the women told me of a tourist info spot right across the nearby bridge where I could get English pamphlets.

But then, just as I thought my boyfriend had left to use the WC, he returned to the table…totally soaking wet…with a stack of English and German (for my learning) pamphlets. He went and snatched ‘em FOR me!!! This poor guy went out in the rain, over the bridge, into the tourist kiosk and picked up about eight pamphlets and three maps. So amazingly sweet of him.

Finally getting their hands on visuals and translated snippets to explain all they were trying to convey, these three went wild. They were circling places on the maps, marking pages, telling me about special landmarks, arguing over who was more accurate about this and that…oh man. Too cute. The one woman just kept recommending the zoo. Over and over. Next time. Next time.

When it came time to round up these soggy booklets and an even soggier umbrella, I thanked them for their incredible help and company and the man said in perfect English, “It was a great time.”

Indeed it was, old man. Indeed it was.

Disclaimer: You’re going to be here for a while. Grab a beverage, cozy up to your screen and get ready to reeeeead! 

“Did you bring the camera?” David asked, as we made our way down to the Colosseum on our first afternoon in Rome.

Oops!! Completely spaced that one. Thank goodness for the quality of iPhone pictures these days! But let’s be real. They don’t quite cut it in certain scenarios…

…like when you’re trying to chase a seagull.

…or tiptoe through flour to snap a glimpse of a bakery’s ovens at 2:00 a.m. (IT WAS SO HOT IN THERE!)

…or zoom in on a…uh….a seagull, ahemmm, YES, that’s what I’m referring to here. This bird had no idea it was mocking an ancient statue. What’s quite funny is when we passed this place a second time, there was a seagull on his head again! Must be a good view.

Nonetheless, I think you’ll still enjoy this mini tour and hopefully pack a few tips in your traveling pocket. These are just SOME of the sights, tastes and places I cherished whilst exploring ROMA with the hubs.

Oh, wait! Before you get scrollin’, I strongly suggest you get the lowdown on Suite Sistina. From a disco bathtub to the “Sexy Menu” I accidentally sent my mom to why I’d actually recommend staying at this hotel, go get your read on.

OK, ready? Let’s start walkin’. (When you stay at Suite Sistina, you can walk to practically everything. You walk anywhere from four to eight miles a day, but when you’re crushing pizza, pasta, wine and gelato, it balances everything out.)

We begin near the Roman Forum. 

Standing before you are some the city’s most ancient ruins. These are remnants of government buildings, temples and platforms that were once part of the bustling marketplace and town hall that was THE Roman Forum. Elections, processions, speeches and more took place in this area.

Don’t you just wish you could go back in time and see what everyone was wearing, what they talked about and how it smelled?

Another thing you see on your way to the Colosseum and all over Roma:

STREET PERFORMERS. Everywhere. And street peddlers. Everywhere.

THIS guy. I know. Amazing, right?

Unfortunately, he’s tricking us. There is a method to his mad illusion. Can you guess what it is?

…then THIS guy. He’s not darting down the sidewalk like you think he might be. He’s completely still.

Here he his from the back. I love how the folks approaching him aren’t impressed. Boy, I sure was. (It doesn’t take much.)

Here is the Lupa Romana, a famous statue that represents the founding brothers of Rome: Romulus and Remus.

Me: AH! David!! Wait, look! Come here! Do you know what this is?
David: Oh, yeah, I’ve seen this. Romulus and Remus.
Me: Yes! I saw this on Rick Steves’ video! These are the twins who founded Rome. Were they really abandoned as babies and taken care of by a she-wolf?
David: Umm, you know that’s not really true, right?
Me: ….
David: It’s folklore. A myth. Fake.
Me: Oh. Psssh. Yeah, of course I knew that…

OK, I lied. But gosh, the wolf on that statue dates back to the 13th Century A.D. I feel like anything could have happened that long ago. And in my defense, these are ancient Romans we’re talking about here…people who:

• drank gladiator blood because they believed it helped with epilepsy and fertility.
• washed their clothes in urine. Pee was a hot commodity, people. They’d collect it from public bathhouses, sell it and, yes, tax it.
• appointed horses as priests. OK, there’s only one instance of this apparently happening, but isn’t that enough? Oh, Caligula. You silly emperor.

SO, if these things happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if two babies were really suckled by a wolf. HA!

Then…

In the distance…

We could see her…

The colossal, magnetic monument that pulls millions of people on this planet to her each year. I gasped. I didn’t expect to see her smack dab in the middle of the city!

And then…

We arrived at her doorstep.

This, my friends, is the largest amphitheater in the world: The Colosseum, originally called the Flavian Amphitheater.

I can’t believe we were actually standing in front of something that was completed in 80 A.D.

Even more shocking? It took under a decade to complete.

How would you like to be the project manager on this job, eh?

Here’s the inside.

It’s absolutely breathtaking. Literally. It’s been calculated that approximately 500,000 people and more than a million wild animals took their last breath here.

Can you imagine spending your lunch at this place? People did that. Watching humans and animals fight to the death was, ya know, normal.

I’ve been reading all kinds of things on this arena of death since seeing it with my own eyes. I didn’t know enough about it going in.

There are tons of varying facts, stories, investigations and myths floating around out there, but here are some cruel and intriguing tidbits (I’m scared to call them facts!) that have raised an eyebrow or dropped my jaw:

• The Colosseum apparently fit up to 80,000 spectators.
• More than 9,000 animals were slaughtered during the inaugural games.
• It had tunnels and elevators under the main floor so that animals and gladiators could miraculously appear when needed. Remember: There was no electricity, so slaves were the ones man-handling such elevators.
• Many of the animal hunts were conducted by experienced men, but others involved unarmed criminals or prisoners of war. To avoid dying in the arena, many of these men would kill themselves first with whatever they had on hand. One man allegedly stuffed a lavatory sponge (Yes. A lavatory sponge that was shared by in-mates.) down his own throat. There were even 29 prisoners who strangled each other. It was bad, people.
• On the off-chance that a prisoner managed to kill one of his animal opponents (think anything from lions and cougars to boars and wild bears), another wild animal would be unleashed onto the floor, sometimes even before the man had a chance to finish killing the first one.
• Emperor Commodus apparently fancied decapitating ostriches in one swift sprint and chucking their heads into the crowd. I mean, what happened to slinging free T-shirts into the stands?
• It’s still debatable whether they had aquatic fights in here. They’d allegedly bring in boats and specially trained swimming horses and bulls. How they’d get the water in aaand flush it out is beyond me, but Romans were pretty amazing plumbers.

OK. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time to lighten up the mood.

Stretch break, anyone? 

HA! There’s David trying and succeeding at being a tourist.

“I love when you make me stand in front of things and take my picture,” said Denver never.

I know I worked up your appetite with all those tales of death and gore, so it’s a perfect time to tell you about Antica Birreria Peroni.

I had two firsts here: 1) my first taste of carbonara and 2) my first exposure to an Italian sink.

Time to break some news to you: It’s hard to find nomtastic, authentic Italian fare in Roma. It’s not horrible food, but your options are quite limited if you’re in touristy areas, which is basically all of central Rome, it seemed. Everywhere you look, you’ll see “pizzeria ristorante.” Get your palate ready for pizza-pasta-salad-gelato-repeat.

We went a little off the path, though, and stumbled across this gem. I already said it, but I’ll say it again: ORDER THE CARBONARA if you go here.

It’ll be a miracle if you find anyone to translate the Italian menu or even speak English to you, so again, just order the Carbonara…all of it. Order it until they run out, then mail me some. Oh, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. *nom-nom-nom*

So, now for part II of the firsts. That Italian sink…

After using the oh-so-tiny solo lady loo, I worked up a nice lather and did what any American would do if they didn’t see faucet handles. I waved my hands in every possible spot that would trigger a motion sensor. Nada. I tapped the faucet. Nada. I pressed my palm on the spout, and out came enough water to get a little productive, but after about six more tries of that…nada. Drat.

I grabbed a big wad of TP, successfully made the situation worse, then heard someone finishing up in the men’s loo. I lollygagged. He came out.

Me: Excuse me, but is your sink working?
Italian Man Who Didn’t Speak English: No? ….
Me: My sink…no water! Can I use yours?
Italian Man Who Didn’t Speak English: (motions me to his own sink but looks confused and walks away)

I went back to my mess. A few seconds later, I heard mumbling outside the door. It was him! He motioned me over to his sink again, but this time pointed to the ground. The heavens opened, singing angels appeared and beams of light pointed to my rescue.

Me: Ohhhhh….A PEDAL!!!! Oh my goodness!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!!
Italian Man Who Didn’t Speak English: Hahaha, yes! This is very typical of Italia!

So, yes. LONG story short, if you want water to flow in your bathroom sink in Italy, ya gotta press a pedal. I had no idea!

OK, here are some other random observations, in no particular order.

This is traffic…at MIDNIGHT!

Teensy-weensy cars and ridiculous park jobs…everywhere! It can take HOURS to find a parking spot.

The Tiber River is so charming and romantic at night, even with that mysterious green tint…

If it weren’t for the amazing group of Italian natives our good friend Chad hooked us up with, we would’ve totally missed the magic that happens that Cioccolata e Vino.

This was our first stop in Trastevere, an adorable part of town with tons of bars, cafes and restaurants. This entire area was packed with people, yet everything just worked.

Back to these shots. You basically hop in a long line that moves very quickly and browse a menu of chocolate shots with names that’d be fitting on Suite Sistina’s Sexy Menu. In short, they’re basically “quickies.” Or as one of the Italians put it for me: like having “fast sex.” *blushing*

When it’s your turn, you grab your mini chocolate cup filled with rum, whipped cream and other sinful treats, tilt your head back and drop that beauty in. It was deeeeelicious and deeelightful.

I loved this alleyway!!! Liiights! Travestere is a winding, confusing mess of awesomeness. It’s definitely a place you’d be happy to get lost in.

These are some of the amazing Italians we had the opportunity to spend close to eight straight hours with. We’re so grateful for the new friends we’ve made and that some of these natives live in Cologne! (Grazie, Grazie, Grazie, Andrea, Andrea, Andrea + Team!)

Smoke break on the bridge at 3 a.m. David and I were using all of our energy to keep up with the Italians who were just getting started!

AH. Trajan’s Column.

Can you guess how many carved images are on this massive column? More than 2,000. This thing is TALL…so tall that I had to lay down on my back to capture the whole dang thing. David was shaking his head, and those two people walking towards me were a little confused.

Then, we approached The Pantheon, ancient Rome’s most preserved and influential building. Even 2,000 years later, it’s still a tremendous sight to see.

Some fun facts I’ve dug up for ya:

• It was originally built as a temple for all gods, hence the name.
• It was apparently the first building in the whole world to be built with concrete. In fact, the exact composition of the materials is still unknown, but it’s very similar to modern-day concrete. Whatever the recipe, it was a good one, because it’s stood the true test of time and gravity. Earthquakes and massive raids have nothin’ on The Pantheon.
• Raphael is buried here.
• My favorite part? The oculus, as seen below.

The oculus is that massive circle of light we’re “touching.”

Guess what? It’s NOT covered. It never has been. When it rains, water flows perfectly away thanks to the slightly convex floors and the drainage system in place. I told you Romans were genius plumbers.

The dome is so unbelievably impressive. Pictures don’t do it justice. The Earth stops when you walk in.

It’s still the largest, unsupported dome in the world. It’s pretty wild to think that what you see in The Pantheon is almost exactly the way it looked 2,000 years ago. While everyone’s looking up and taking pictures, are they thinking about how they’re standing on the exact flooring that emperors and some of the world’s most influential artists and kings walked on? Probably not. I had no idea until now. Drat.

It even steals your heart as you’re walking out. Dang. Stop it, Pantheon! You’re too good.

OK, let’s go make a wish at the fountain over yonder…

Excuse me, ma’am? Is that a sword balloon or are you just happy to see that fountain? (Har. Har. I couldn’t help myself. By the way, David took this picture. Perhaps he thought taking it diagonally would disguise his efforts. Oh, David.)

Not much to report here except that I LOVED ALL THE LIGHTS and ALLEYWAYS! Not so much the crowds. 😉

AH! The outside of The Vatican Museum. Thank goodness we signed up to join a tour group in advance. Otherwise, you have to stand in looooong lines.

Our tour guide gave David her “flag” when she went to get everyone’s tickets. He really rocked his duties.

I’m telling you…everything looks better from the cobble stone, no matter how many strange looks you get whilst setting up the shot.

Then, while everyone else was fixated on an informational stop about the Sistine Chapel ceiling and the history and restoration of Michelangelo’s work (You can’t take pictures or video while inside. I LOVED that. It’s such a beautiful moment that you can only store in your memory. It’s so refreshing to be in a room where everyone is just taking it in…in silence.), I was zooming in on this seagull (Ya know, something I never do), and by some miracle, captured it taking flight.

These things are all over the Vatican. They’re ginormous. They’re gorgeous. It’s glorious.

OK, now take in the ceiling of the Vatican’s Gallery of Maps.

Spotted: David’s forehead.

See all the people? Apparently, this is considered “off season.” In the summer months, we were told it’s shoulder-to-shoulder everywhere.

Now, take in the all and powerful St. Peter’s Basilica. Do you see the pope in the window?

…BAH! Gotcha. No-go on the pope.

#obligatoryselfie

Where are those aggressive street peddlers and their selfie sticks when you need them?? That was most certainly an annoying piece of Rome. If someone wasn’t in your face to buy their little gadget or toy, they were luring you into their restaurant or cafe.

Thankfully, the Vatican was a breath of fresh air on that front. And no, St. Peter’s Basilica is not on a slant. Wish I could blame the iPhone again…

Here’s part of the inside. Incredible, right?

If the dome could take a selfie, this is what it would like:

#anotherobligatoryselfie:

More views from the cobble stone. More strange looks.

Motorbikes. Everywhere. If you’re not dodging one, you’re likely walking around one.

Next up is the Trevi Fountain, the largest and most famous fountain in Rome.

Here’s what it’s supposed to look like:

http://naina.co/

OHHHH my goodness. It’s GORGEOUS, right??

Here’s what it looked like for us:

Waw wawww. Gotta love restoration.

“Was ist das?”

Oh, what is that, David? You want me to take your picture again?

You can sit and have a glass of wine, beer or cappuccino pretty much anywhere. The choices are endless. The people watching is magnificent.

BUT as for those random sax serenades? Those are a little harder to find…

Hmmm. These are the Spanish Steps, a stone’s throw from Suite Sistina (up to the top of the stairs, right and down the street). I had much higher expectations for these things, to be honest. Am I missing something?? Too crowded down here!

Ahhh. But the view from the top is pretty great.

More lights and alleyways!!!! We bought a “Roma” clock from that little store on the right.

Last but most certainly not least, I am so pleased to tell you about another restaurant recommendation.

On our final night in Roma, Andrea and Andrea (Yes, that’s a very common name in Italy for men – pronounced on-DRAY-uh.) took us to the most incredible spot. I had, hands down, one of my favorite meals ever. We even tried truffle bruschetta. Who knew truffle was a root???

The restaurant: Traverna Trilussa.

The award-winning dish that landed on my all-time favorite list? Bucatini all’ Amatriciana

From the menu: Rome’s most famous dish. Thick hollow spaghetti with tomato sauce, guanciale bacon and Pecorino cheese. We owe most of our notoriety to this dish. Approved by the Comune Amatrice, home to the original recipe!

It comes to you fresh off the stove in your own pan. It’s perfection.

When asked if we wanted dessert, the Italians didn’t take no for an answer. I wish I knew the name of this divine dessert below (another horrible quality image), but I didn’t order it. Hmm…just make sure you get dessert. They have TONS.

Plus, if you’re not over-indulging or completely overstimulated in Rome, you’re probably doing something wrong.

WHEN IN ROME!

Congratulations! You made it to the end of this post.

Now it’s your turn. Have you been to Rome? Do you want to go? What struck your attention in this post or in Rome?

Leave a comment!

You can take the girl out of Dusseldorf, but you can’t take Dusseldorf out of the girl…

OK. That’s not entirely true. And it sounds a lot better with “Texas.”

But pull me out of Germany, put me in Rome and my comfort bubble’s going to POP. Just as I was starting to adjust to life in a new country that’s rooted by rules and order, we took a 180 and planted ourselves right in the throbbing heart of a city in Italy where anything goes: ROME.

After dodging all kinds of up-in-your-face offers for overpriced cab rides, we hopped in a taxi with a fifth-generation Italian who carted us through the organized chaos (Chad, you are so right!) that is ROMA. I held my breath and grasped the seats like I did when we were in Beijing.

Motor bikes, mini cars and taxis were plowing their way through narrow cobbled alleyways. Motorists love ignoring street signs, and they come inches away from pedestrians.

Thankfully, our driver was hilarious. Well, his words got terribly lost in his accent, but he still had us laughing…laughing off the anxiety of whether we were really going to make it to Suite Sistina.

But, contrary to Rome’s startling accident stats, we successfully made it to this adorable spot.

Spotted: David putting out the vibe.

But this time, another adventure awaited.

When we were escorted up to floor IV and let into a room named “Curve Pericolose” (which I later found means “Dangerous Curves”), THIS was happening:

Ah, yes. The heat was cranked to 78 degrees Fahrenheit, weird music was playing, and there was a rotating disco ball…above the bathtub.

But wait…it gets better.

It was steps away from the BED:

But wait…there’s more.

What to our wandering eyes did appear on that sexy, circular bed over there?

Not rose petals, my curious lovers…

No way, Jose! But these, instead:

Muy, muy caliente!!!!

Ummm…this is more scandalous than any honeymoon setup I’ve ever seen, heard of, or, let’s get real for a second: wanted.

I mean, I know our two-year anniversary was approaching, but we’re not those people. (TMI? Have we got it all wrong?? LOL!)

I know for a fact that David booked this place with two priorities in mind: location and a stellar package deal. We scored flights, this hotel and a tour guide for a pretty good price.

We didn’t get wind of the scandalous side of Suite Sistina until we got an introduction email from the owner that I accidentally forwarded to my MOM saying, “Look at how cute and accommodating this place is going to be!”

Here’s the email:

Hello David,

We would love to know some details to make your room more fitting to your taste….

How do you imagine the soundtrack of your vacation? Jazz, rock, ambient….
On what temperature would you like to find your room? From 0 to 100 degrees…

Our breakfast has a high rate of calorie and coddling, but  we also take care of those who prefer vegetarian, gluten free, low calorie….

Would you like to: Have a candle light dinner in our room? A refreshing massage without even getting up from your bed? Do a wild shopping with a personal shopper? A new look to your hair and nails? Winning the lottery?

… And of course if you need a ride from the airport just give us a whistle and we’ll arrange it for you.

If you are coming by car we can suggest you a private parking very close to our Hotel, the name and address is “Parking Ludovisi” in Via Ludovisi 60, it’s open until 1 AM  and it’s not necessary to reserve it.

Lastly, and we promise this will be the last information, we attached herein our Sexy Menu created in collaboration with Zou Zou Sensual Entertainment where you can choose your favourite hot and spicy game.

We remind you that our reception is in via Sistina 54, located in an ancient building of which its particular architectural design cannot accommodate an installation of a lift.

Ciao, 

Antonio

She sent back the emoji where the monkey’s covering his eyes and said, “That is SOME hotel! I saw the menu.”

The menu?? OH, NO. My stomach sunk. Should I have read that email in complete detail before forwarding to my mother? OH, YES.

Gosh, I just thought this Antonio guy was oh-so-charismatic and that maybe their food was so delicious he called it sexy. Eh? (Italians are great sales people, you know. And please note: In my skimming, I failed to see the words “ZouZou Sensual Entertainment.”)

I saw “hot and spicey game” and thought this PDF menu pertained to food. Mmm…elk. Bahaha!! Nalp. Different kind of game at Suite Sistina, so, when I opened the attached PDF for myself, I…I died.

All I’m going to say is this: There were options of things to order from the Sexy Menu that you, your mother, or any other member of your family need NOT discuss. Bahahahahahahaaa! I’m blushing again.

ALL silliness aside, after days of custom breakfasts being served in our room (as late as we wanted and heart-shaped sugar cubes for coffee to boot), hand-drawn Post-its with the following day’s weather forecast, no disturbing stories to report, a very friendly staff, stellar WiFi, sleeping in the most comfortable bed on the planet and a truly amazing location that allowed us to walk to almost evvverything, I took back my decision to supervise David’s future hotel bookings.

After all, I really would recommend this hotel for what it was for us. I guess it’s good to always be prepared for what it could be for others, eh? Just don’t stay here with a family member…or business partner. The End.

If walking out to this street doesn’t feel like you’re in Roma, then I don’t know what will!

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.